BORAT FOREVER

(so many lawsuits, so little humor)

Sacha Baron Cohen and friends in Cannes, France, for the screening of "Borat"

MOSCOW, November 9— A government agency said it would refuse to grant permission for Sacha Baron Cohen's controversial comedy "Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan "to be shown in theaters in neighboring Russia, its distributor here said Thursday.

The Federal Agency for Culture and Cinematography informed Vadim Ivanov, theatrical sales director at Twentieth Century Fox C.I.S., that it would not grant the permission required to show the film in theaters.

(That’s democracy in action here! Wonder if it will open in Kazakhstan? By the way, comrades, the movie is as anti-American as anti-anything else. Ask away and I will be obliged to explain why this is so)

GLOD, Romania, Nov. 11 (UPI) -- The Romanian village that stands in for the fictional Borat's fictional hometown in Kazakhstan wants to take the real comedian Sacha Baron Cohen to court.

Residents of Glod, a poor hamlet in the Carpathian Mountains, told the (London) Daily Mail they thought Baron Cohen and his crew were making a documentary. They only found out recently that it was a fake documentary -- and a major box-office hit.

(Simply sour grapes. Possibly some ambulance-chasing attorney told you that you might get a piece of the action. In any case, as you guys are joining the EU next January, the portrayal of your wretched lives in “Borat” might just mean more €€€ from Brussels come next year)

COLUMBIA, S.C. -- Two fraternity boys from a South Carolina university intend to file a lawsuit against "Borat" over their drunken appearance in the hit movie.

The legal action filed Thursday on their behalf claims they were duped into appearing in the spoof documentary "Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan," in which they made racist and sexist comments on camera.

The young men "engaged in behavior that they otherwise would not have engaged in," the lawsuit says.

(In Vino Veritas. You said it, you meant it.

PS - Ditto for Mel Gibson. And, by the way, I do hope Apocalypto goes down in flames along with you).

Nov. 11, 2006 — Mahir Cagri, a Turkish music teacher, plans to sue Baron Cohen. He claims Borat is based on him.

Mahir was an Internet sensation back in 1999 when, on his Web site, he offered kisses and tantalizingly revealed that he likes sex and taking nude photos, yet lives alone. There is a resemblance.

"I love nice womans, nice jokes. I am active man," Cagri said. "I can take nude pictures. I can see their body who best, which am good for me."

(Mahir, Mahir…. (http://www.ikissyou.org/famous_site/famous_site.html)

Too bad you did not make much of your hilarious website. Mahir-Mania was too short-lived, if you ask me…But a lawsuit? Efendim, you have balls...)

But it’s not all bad news…

LOS ANGELES, December 12 (AP) - A make-believe son of the glorious nation of Kazakhstan continues to rule the American box office.

Sacha Baron Cohen's "Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan" took in $29 million to remain the No. 1 movie for a second-straight weekend, distributor 20th Century Fox said Sunday. "Borat" raised its 10-day total to $67.8 million.

($68 MIL in 10 days????? and that is just in the US? and not counting the gazillions in DVD rights? No wonder you bought a house in Beverly Hills; I would too)

"Borat" also won in its launches in Denmark, Finland, Holland, Sweden and German-speaking Switzerland, and finished second in Germany and Belgium.

(Draw whatever conclusions you wish about the list of countries where “Borat” was the biggest hit…)

Baron Cohen has landed a $42 million deal to star in a new movie as another fictional alter ego: Bruno. He's a gay, Austrian fashion reporter and appeared on "Da Ali G Show."

(Which proves that laughs best who laughs last)

NEW YORK, November 10 - The Jewish newspaper The Forward has named Baron Cohen one of its Forward 50, individuals in politics, culture, religion, sports and more who are "making a difference in the way American Jews, for better or worse, view the world and themselves." In the Culture category, Baron Cohen tops the list, well ahead of Scarlett Johansson, Barbra Streisand, and Elie Wiesel.

Among the Jewish creed acknowledged in the piece is Baron Cohen's Orthodox upbringing, participation in Habonim and a year on kibbutz.

"And early reports suggest that he's now considered the funniest Jew in America," the Forward concludes. "Jon Stewart, watch your back."

(even Barbra? oy vey…)

and, last but not least…..

Borat Tries To Get Martha Stewart Into Bed

BURBANK, Calif. (November 10, 2006) -- Martha may have met her match. Martha Stewart and Borat were on the "Tonight Show" last night. Sacha Baron Cohen stayed in character as Borat, the Kazakh TV journalist, as Stewart tried to teach him how to make a bed, American style.

Borat couldn't wait to get Martha under the covers. Borat says Jay Leno was very "generous" to give Martha to him. Leno assured Borat there would be no charge. Borat took off his pants, got under the covers and took off his underwear in front of a seemingly shocked Martha Stewart.

(If you’ve seen Borat’s two wives in the film, you know Martha is definitely an improvement)